The Dangling Conversation
by Phil D. Hernandez
Summary: Joxer discovers he was chasing the wrong Amazon. Follows "Lyre, Lyre, Hearts on Fire."


THE DANGLING CONVERSATION  
**by Phil D. Hernández**

GENRES: _Xena: Warrior Princess,_ romance. **VIOLENCE:** None. **SEX:** None. **LANGUAGE:** Clean. **RATING:** G. **SUBTEXT:** None. Gabrielle is and always has been heterosexual. **SPOILERS:** Lyre, Lyre, Hearts on Fire. **NOTICE TO JOXERPHOBES:** You lost. Ha-HA!

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DRAMATIS PERSONAE:  
Joxer the Mighty, would-be hero  
Jace Joxer's brother, a flamboyant singer  
Gabrielle the Bard of Poteidaia, the woman Joxer loves

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This story occurs immediately after the events of the fifth season episode Lyre, Lyre, Hearts on Fire.  
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When drink flowed freely, Joxer could often be found in the thick of things, growing progressively sillier as he grew drunker. Tonight, however, he sat quietly with his thoughts, nursing a drink, oblivious to the revelry.  
A second man sat down across the table, facing him. Like Joxer, he was tall, with dark hair and brown eyes. He shared the same long, rubbery face. The two men had more than the appearance of brothers – they were brothers. Jace had discarded the gaudy outfit he had worn while performing, though his hair was still arranged in its outrageous pompadour.  
Hey, why are you by yourself? What happened to that Amazon chick who was all over you? Jace asked.  
Joxer raised an eyebrow in surprise. You dropped the accent, he remarked.  
It's part of the act, Jace replied. Just like Joxer the Mighty' is an act. That's right, little brother, I've heard the stories about you. Gabrielle doesn't pull any punches, does she? But you were serious when you said you followed your sword; that was you, not an act. You've done well for yourself.  
So have you, Joxer sighed. Jace cocked his head but correctly concluded that his brother wasn't upset with him. I'm glad you followed the music, Joxer continued. That's not an act, either. After listening to you singI'm proud of you.  
Jace smiled softly. After the brush-offs Joxer had given him all day, Jace was pleased to see his brother had come to his senses. But if Joxer wasn't unhappy because Jace had become successful in a non-traditional fashion, then Thanks. That means a lot, Jace said. I'm proud of you, too. For the first time, you've got good friends like Xena and Gabrielle. He saw Joxer wince at that. Okay, brother, you're avoiding the subject. You're alone, and it's bothering you.  
Joxer was silent for several moments. Jace patiently waited for his brother to confide in him.  
I blew it, Jace.  
So you did something and Amoria didn't like it. If she's that shallow, she's not for you. What I don't get is why you were interested in her at all. From what Jett told me when I visited him in prison, I expected you to be married to Gabrielle.  
The would-be warrior's heart sank. What did he say? Joxer croaked.  
It was when you guys met Cleopatra. He was pretending to be you, and when he made a silly crack about you she said that you were worth a thousand of him.  
Oh gods, Joxer moaned. Gabrielle _does_ like me. She said so tonight. And I had to  
Maybe Gabrielle will come around, Jace offered. He now understood what was bothering his brother.  
And maybe Ares will become the God of Peace, his brother denied. Hey, she's at least my friend. Draco can't make that claim. Joxer essayed a smile that wasn't all pretense, which put Jace's mind at ease.  
Getting up, the singer resumed his mannerisms and accent. All for hwon and hwon for all! The Three Pikemen ride again! This was a game the two had played with their brother Jett, and was one of Joxer's few happy childhood memories. Both men waved with a flourish, then Jace was gone.

*****

Buy a girl a drink?  
Joxer, startled, looked up and turned. Gabrielle was standing behind him. She had changed out of the dancing clothes Draco had forced her to wear, back into her original outfit of brown cloth and leather. Her short blonde hair was freshly combed.  
I thought you said there was no chance in –  
There isn't, Gabrielle interrupted, but her smile was in her voice. Not tonight. But I think we need to talk, Joxer.  
Look, Gabby, I said you didn't have to –  
I know, but I'm tired of you cutting me off like that. All through the trip to Chin and back you wouldn't let me say how I felt about your loving me. No more, okay? She sat down beside him.  
He hung his head. Jace been talking to you?  
she denied. Gabrielle contemplated her friend for a moment, and then she smiled again.  
Come on, you didn't think I'd let you hit on me after Amoria dumped you, did you? After all, you say you're in love with me, but she had you wrapped around her little finger.  
Joxer raised his head again. There was no self-pity in his eyes, no lost-puppy look, no pretense. I'm sorry, Gabrielle, he said. I didn't give you a chance. You sure have given me plenty of chances when I screwed up. I guess I used them all up.  
The warrior bard put a gentle arm around his shoulders. Not all of them. I meant it when I said you mean a lot to me. I never told you before because I didn't want you to get a swelled head over it. Joxer, you put your life on the line for me, and I'll never forget that. Poteidaia is a long way off, and you and Xena are my family now. Which was true. Only Joxer could truly say that he traveled with Gabrielle and the Warrior Princess.  
Thanks, Gabby. I don't know why you put up with me.  
I don't put up' with you. His expression didn't change, and Gabrielle shrugged. Okay, you can be hard to take sometimes, but you're growing up, the same as I had to grow up, only not as fast. I _do_ care about you, and I always knew you cared about me. I just never expected that you would Her voice trailed off.  
that I would love you, he finished for her, in the same wistful tone.  
Gabrielle agreed. Joxer, there have been times lately when I had to be hard and cold just to stay sane. I didn't think _anyone_ could love me. And seeing Callisto again reminded me of Perdicas  
Your husband. You still miss him.  
Every day.  
Joxer nodded, a grim look on his face as he remembered how Callisto had foully murdered Perdicas in an attempt to punish Xena by destroying Gabrielle. That's good, he said seriously. He was a good man.  
You're a good man, too, Gabrielle asserted. You put the warmth back into my heart. Look, we spend a lot of time together as it is. You don't need to take me out on a date. I may not be in love with you, but She turned away, her awkward feelings catching up with her. I don't want to string you along.  
Are you saying that there _is_ a chance in Tartarus? Joxer fought to keep the eagerness out of his voice, but was not entirely successful. He smiled at her, his deep brown eyes all puppy-expectant.   
Gabrielle conceded. I was jealous of Amoria. And Xena flat-out told me that I believed you deserved someone likelike me, the warrior bard concluded in a very small voice, because Xena had been right. Gabrielle's eyelids demurely shaded her bright green eyes as she contemplated the table.  
Though exultation lit up Joxer's face, he managed to restrain himself. You mean _Xena_ wouldn't mind if  
Apparently not. But I'm not making any promises. Gabrielle looked up again. Anyway, Xena's asleep and I need to look in on her soon. You still owe me a drink, the bard reminded him.  
Coming right up!

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**THE END  
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Disclaimer:  
Jace's act was not harmed by the revelation that he could drop the accent during the writing of this fan fiction. However, he needed another bath with the ladies to get rid of the scratchy feeling he got from wearing normal clothes.

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Episode references:  
Revenge of Callisto, King of Assassins, Fallen Angel, and Lyre, Lyre, Hearts on Fire.

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Other reference:  
_The Three Musketeers._

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE:  
_Xena: Warrior Princess,_ Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, Jace and all other characters who have appeared in the series, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No infringement of copyrights and trademarks is intended in the writing of this fan fiction. This story is © 2000 by Philip D. Hernández and is his sole property along with the story idea. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

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Comments:  
Unless your sole purpose is to bash Joxer, Ted Raimi or the concept of a Gabrielle/Joxer romance, your comments would be greatly appreciated. You can e-mail the author at **BroadwayPhil@yahoo.com **.

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Additional stories:  
More stories can be found on the author's website, _The Subtlety of Pickett's Charge,_ at **** .


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